Not My Will, but God's
Fourth Sunday of Advent - Today's Readings
I'm in awe at Mary's incredible openness to God's will. Perhaps, the grace of being without sin enabled her to say "yes" quicker than any of us might. But I would definitely have had a few more questions for Gabriel about all the logistics of being a pregnant, unmarried young woman and the mother to the Son of God.
Mary's radical openness invites me to consider how I am open to God's will. Sometimes, I think I only want God's will if it fits into mine. For example, in praying for my husband and I to have children, it took a lot of tears and time in spiritual direction for me to be open to the fact that our children may not be biologically related. I continue to struggle with God's will for our family somedays. In my mind, I know God's will is better than my own, but that doesn't erase the sadness, fear or frustration. But I'm not sure it's supposed to either. I can still trust God's will while mourning the loss of my own desires. I can still trust God's will even if I don't always like it.
Even though she was without sin, Mary was probably still nervous or afraid. I'm sure she had visions for her own life that she had to let go of. Thankfully, she was able to accept God's will for her life instead of holding tight to her own. May we ask for Mary's guidance to be open and follow God's will.